Sometimes I skip over holidays without fanfare. I also skip over the most important things a lot – like bedtime kisses or date nights that shoulda-coulda-woulda if they had only been planned. It’s easy to do when you blog; or when you cook, clean, homeschool, change diapers… and crumble into the couch, a heap of disheveled sleepiness at the end of the day. The hours sneak by, and then we turn off the lights. Him asleep – snoring – me clicking on the computer.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
~ 1 Peter 4:8
That’s no way to stay connected. I want to live like every day is Valentines.
Part of having ‘Valentines’ every day is recognizing each other. He’s still my sweetheart – regardless of how many years time has stolen from us. We are still here, together. We just need to purpose more time for each other… invest in ‘us’.
I’m still that young girl inside… the one that fell head over heels for him 18 years ago. He hung my moon and sprinkled the stars in my eyes when I was 19. He was everything I ever wanted and I knew it when we first kissed. All the years of diapers, trails, and the ‘anxieties of life’ can not take away the butterflies I feel when I think of our first few dates together. I’ll admit it: butterflies need fragrant flowers to stick around. Thinking of the good times – the private moments that only we share – the blessings we have because of each-other… those are perfect reminders when you are trying to build on your love.
At 19, I wasn’t thinking of ANYTHING but him. I used to pick flowers for him everywhere I went. I faxed him from work nearly ever day. I’m sure I almost got him fired. His poor parents. I was the girl you don’t bring home to mother. Jesus changes even those girls. Living proof and three babies later… they forgive him for marrying me, I hope. I love them like my own parents now. I’m so glad they let him try out his wings… build a nest… with this broken girl.
Fast forward nearly two decades later… He forgot to give me a card today. I made sure to give him one with a present (but only because our anniversary came and went without cards, too – and I was empty-handed then). 17 married years should count for something, right? Even the children chided us for forgetting. More skipping over the official holidays that are supposed to ‘count’… and memories lost that could have been made.
It’s important to state for the record that cards aren’t everything. Knowing someone’s soul and heart are much more important. I’m glad that God gave me eyes to see the little things.
Being the company-man that he is, he never takes off work – burns his own vacation rather than tarnish his ‘always-there’ reputation. His boss respects him. His co-workers rely on him. His reviews are stellar. If I could hire someone to work for me, he would be my top pick. That’s not just because I’m biased, either.
When I was stuck in Nashville and couldn’t find my wallet a few days ago, he knew how tired I would be driving through the night to get here by 7:30AM – 16 long hours in the car. I came in the house and crashed after a shower and bath for the baby. When I awoke, he was there.
* He burned a precious vacation day to come home and help me…
– even though he thinks blogging and blog conferences are silly.
– even though he hates to waste vacation in case he needs it for sick time.
* And he took me out to dinner.
– even though he had missed my home-cooking for over a week.
* And he had shampooed the carpets in my ENTIRE 2,400 square foot house – including the stairs… without help.
– even though he could have goofed off while we were gone and we would never have known it.
* And he played Clue with the kids and I tonight.
– even though he hates board games.
– even though his eyes were bloodshot and he could hardly stay awake.
– even though he has to get up at 5:30am and leave before 6:15 just to make it to work on time.
He might miss a card every now and then.
But I know that he loves me...
He shows me in his life. His work. His sacrifices. His quiet glances. His laughter. His warm embrace. The choices he makes every day. THAT is Valentines.
I choose to make my Valentine more of a priority in my day-to-day routine this year. Maybe I’ll do the Love Dare (I’m always the last one to start everything). I bought it for him for our anniversary – now is as good a time as any to start.
What are you doing to put your ‘sweetheart’ in the center of your heart – right where they belong – in 2010?