Somehow over the weekend, my blog became a “large mammal”. I’m accepting emails if you want to tip me off on the secret of how that happened? Shhhhhh… I had better not say anything or they might retract my status. I like the rank, don’t get me wrong… it never hurts to think someone might be listening to you… but I check my site meter every now and then, and I can’t imagine with as few visitors as I have, that I could be considered large… unless you’re speaking figuratively… maybe a mouse-lemur or finger-monkey? Anyway… I came in here to thank the readers or linkers or clickers out there in cyberspace… or those who stumbled in during a drunken night of Google-surfing?
Side Note: I actually did have someone find my site once doing a Google search for “Nazi”. Yep – it was a warm fuzzy title to a previous post about Katie W. that drew whomever that was in to my web. Poor little skin-head.
Side Note #2: You really want to know where that photo came from? OK. I’ll tell you. I asked my dear husband for an oatmeal cookie and he defaced the cookie like so… and brought it upstairs to hand to me (so I would have a complex about eating it). Ha! It didn’t work. I ate it anyway. But first, I shot that photo… because after all, it was really funny. He got a kick out of seeing it again tonight.
On the topic of LARGE… I have just not been feeling small lately. With Thanksgiving around the corner and the taste of turkey and dressing from Luby’s still fresh in my memory from tonight’s dinner (yes, I cheated)… I really am considering making this a no-sweets holiday season (you can cry for my children now). Granted, we have been eating out every meal for months and months on end… but that is no excuse to rip a pair of jeans (I try and remind myself that they were almost three years old to make me feel less worthless) and pick out and finish off every Special Dark chocolate bar in the bag.
Stress doesn’t help. Moving tends to unsettle even the robo-movers like us (this is our 20th move in nearly 13 years of marriage). I am thinking that a great Christmas gift to eachother would be a gym membership. What in the world would I do with the kids (this has always been my excuse when “I’m allergic to exercise” didn’t work)? Maybe they have kiddie-gymnastics at the same time they have ladies aerobics? For sure it wouldn’t hurt to at least lay off the sugar. Hard to do during the holidays… when even the candle “flavors” make you hungry (pumpkin pie, sugar cookie, gingerbread, etc.).
Something you can do to reduce stress this holiday season (which in turn could possibly help trim your waistline)? LAUGH. Yes, laughter is truly great medicine. My husband sent me this email tonight that literally had me falling out of my chair. As corny as it may be, I just have to post it here for you to read… (that way no one can accuse me of spam – since you came in here of your own free will). I hope you enjoy it like I did.
GET A GOOD LAUGH (As Seen in Your Email Box!)
1. SAVE THE WHALES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET.
2. A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE NIGHT.
3. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS.
4. I JUST GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WASN’T FAMILIAR TERRITORY.
5. 42.7 PERCENT OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT.
6. 99 PERCENT OF LAWYERS GIVE THE REST A BAD NAME.
7. I FEEL LIKE I’M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.
8. HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.
9. REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE BELOW AVERAGE.
10. HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, THINKS SLOWEST.
11. DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.
12. THE EARLY BIRD MAY GET THE WORM, BUT THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE.
13. I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.
14. SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY’RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.
15. MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR WEEK.
16. A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY.
17. CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM VENDING MACHINES.
18. GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT’LL BE A GREAT TRADE!
19. PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW.
20. ALWAYS TRY TO BE MODEST, AND BE PROUD OF IT!
21. IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS.
22. HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE IN PSYCHO-KINESIS? RAISE MY HAND.
23. OK, SO WHAT’S THE SPEED OF DARK?
24 HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU’RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?
25. IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED SOMETHING.
26. WHEN EVERYTHING IS COMING YOUR WAY, YOU’RE IN THE WRONG LANE.
27. HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW.
28. EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. SOME JUST DO NOT HAVE FILM.
29. IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER FRIENDS?
30. HOW MUCH DEEPER WOULD THE OCEAN BE WITHOUT SPONGES?
31. EAGLES MAY SOAR, BUT WEASELS DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO JET ENGINES.
32. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?
33. I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND BUT MY BRAINS KEPT FALLING OUT.
34. I COULDN’T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES, SO I MADE YOUR HORN LOUDER.
35. WHY DO PSYCHICS HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR YOUR NAME?
36. INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING WHAT
37. JUST REMEMBER – IF THE WORLD DID NOT SUCK, WE WOULD ALL FALL OFF.
38. LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, WHICH IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK.