Doing a bit of charades and mumbling with sound effects, Morgan mimed to her brother who had confidently told us that he could “decipher” what she was saying since he spoke “Morgan”. After a few humorous noises and gestures, Kaden said, “She said Darth Vader was going to come through the door and chop our heads off.”
We figured he might be about right since she had thrown in the heavy breathing Vader-Mask sound. So, trying not to laugh, I said, “Oh, yeah? Well I speak Daddy. I can decipher what he’s saying, too.”
Daddy made the gestures of eating a few more bites and I told Morgan that he said, “Eat your enchiladas right now, or else.”
Then, I told the kids that Daddy could speak ‘Mommy’ and that he would tell Kaden what I was saying. I made the motions for washing dishes and wiping the table off. Kaden rolled his eyes since he knew where I was going. “Can Morgan help?” He pleaded.
“She can help you after she finishes eating.” I said.
He grumbled, “Awww.”
Daddy smiled and said, “You know, Mommy… we should have a few more kids since there would be about eight years between them and when they go off to college, we’ll…”
“Need a few more slaves?” I finished his sentence for him.
“Yeah. Plus, in a few more years, they’ll be learning to cook, so we can just sit back and let them be the parents and we can be the grandparents.” He replied.
“Yeah”, I said, playing along with his game. “We can have two more kids and let them help with diapers, stay up late, change and feed them, and burp and spit them…”
By now the kids have eyes as big as saucers and they are shaking their heads to indicate ‘NO’.
“No WAY.” Kaden piped up, “I don’t do diapers.”
“So what is your wife going to say when you tell her that?” I asked him.
“Oh, that’s easy. I’ll be going to WORK.” He said.
Daddy and I laughed. “WORK?!?!?” I said (so he must think I’m a cream-puff – what’s he call what I do around here?). “I’ll remember that so I can tell any girl you decide to marry that and scare her off.”
“No!!!!” He whines and grovels at my feet with his hands clasped together. “Please don’t.”
So there you have it folks. The making of a chauvinist – what ever happened to chivalry and servant leadership (as in Christ – who washed the feet of sinners). Surely Jesus would have changed a diaper had he fathered earthly children. Who would have thought that my Christian-raised
son… er, vassal would shirk the honorable duties of his own house… er, castle!? I’ve got my work cut out for me, eh? This conversation happened just weeks after Kaden told his Daddy…er, King (who was doing the dishes at the time), “So now you know how I feel.”