Kaden: “Is pollen like fertilizer, Mommy?”
Me: “Well, no.” I envision the kind of fertilizer you put on the dirt… like Miracle Grow. I’m not sure if that is what he means, but then I think it through a little more… “Remember the talk we had about eggs and sperm?”
Kaden: “Yeah”…he makes a grimace. “Gross!” he adds.
Me: I grin. “Well, the sperm is the fertilizer of the egg. So I guess tree pollen is like tree sperm. It fertilizes the seeds so they can grow trees.” [I walked right in to this one like the dimwit that I am. Is there such a thing as “too much honesty” with a ten year old? If so, I think I have the award for it – hands down.]
Silence. Kaden looks out the window at the yellow oak-dust on everything.
Me: “Floating tree sperm.” I mutter out loud in retrospect, watching him look out the window.
Kaden: “I don’t want to have sex with a tree.” [Oh, yes. he. did. He said it. Just like that! I promise I don’t make this stuff up just to have blog material.]
Kaden: “What would the babies look like?”
Me: Regaining my composure enough to talk… “Tree boys, I guess.” I laugh some more.
Kaden: “Yeah! Like Ents on Lord of the Rings!”
Wondering what an Ent is, I ask him to spell it. He reminds me of ‘Treebeard’ on the movie. I get a mental image and nod, still smiling (laughing on the inside). I am glad to move the conversation into shallow water.
Me: “Then I guess the tree boys could help you fight the battle for Middle Earth and carry you to Mordor to fight Orcs.”
He smiles – finally his mom is catching on to the Lord of the Rings bug that has infected the rest of the family. There may be hope for her yet, he thinks.
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