I started the my Perfecting Preschool series back in 2013. I had a list of posts I wanted to tackle based on what we were doing for the year with my then preschool boys. The Rules post is where it all went awry. I had planned to make my own wall-hanging set of family rules and it got put on the back burner and never happened. Life did, though; and during those years – 2013 to 2016, it was not all good. I survived by the skin of my teeth. So did my toddlers. They are now 7 and 9, so this series, while wonderful in the moment as I was living it, is no longer something I need (until I have grandkids – and let’s hope it takes a little while for that to occur).
Some of you guys still have toddlers underfoot, though, so I decided to finish the series and help those still in the trenches. I know I was holding the hands of all my mentors for a long while so I wouldn’t sink into the quicksand of “toddlers and teenagers at the same time”. That was a special kind of mom-heart training for sure. I would not recommend it for the faint of heart.
It’s good to note up front: there isn’t a family who doesn’t have an issue with broken rules. Sinners break rules and we are all sinners. Rules are there to show us what it is to be HOLY as HE is HOLY. They set the bar. They point to Jesus. Rules are like a tight hug… they hem you in and show you where the circle of God’s protection lies. Outside of them is consequence and guilt… sadness and separation.
It’s important for kids to know that rules keep us safe. Take for instance your skin. God built our pain signals in for a reason. Pain tells you when you’ve done something wrong that needs to stop. Without it, you would burn yourself up. Rules are like that. Good rules hem us in and keep us safe.
Remembering that kids need tiny bites to chew at a time will help you narrow and prioritize your family, classroom, bathroom, and other rules lists down to what is essential. Don’t overwhelm them when they are tiny. Start small and maybe add one each year. This is one reason I love the rules lists that are made with recycled lumber or pallets. You could essentially keep building your rules list and enlist the children to help you add a good family rule each year. There’s no begrudging a rule that you get to make for the family yourself!
Learning about God’s rules with helpful family devotionals like Sally Clarkson’s 24 Family Ways is also a great idea. You could use her list of rules as your family list and put them on some sort of wall hanging. Studying them as a family and learning the biblical basis for each one will enhance their meaning and make them stick so much better. Another great resource is Uncommon Courtesy for Kids by Greg and Joshua Harris.
Hanging your rules up is a great reminder for everyone in the family, and it is a great talking point for visitors and a way to share the gospel in your home. Most people, even if they are not Christians, agree that virtues are a good thing that should be instilled in children. Seeing your rules list is a great way to open up conversation about important matters of the heart and how we should all treat each other as children of God. In this day and age of such polarization in the world, it is always good to remember good manners and treat each other with kindness. That starts in the home.
You can set up different rules displays for other parts of the house, too. You could essentially have one for laundry, bathroom, kitchen, a family list in the living room, and/or one for your homeschool classroom. You could go crazy and add more if you like! There are lots of sites and places where you can purchase already made signs… I like this one on Etsy with a stencil you can use that has bible verses with their rules. Or if you are just looking to make your own list and want ideas, here is a simple family rules list I found on another blog that seems pretty common sense.
For school areas, I like these cheap rules for school that you could adapt for homeschooling with artsy chevrons and owls at Teachers Pay Teachers website that hang on the back of a closet or school-room door. You could easily make these yourself if you have some creative talent, colored paper, and access to a laminating machine. Or you could opt for more of a bulletin board look like this one below:
My dose of reality? We don’t have our rules posted. We talk about them. The kids know them. But I don’t have my DIY boards up on the wall, and won’t until after we get moved to the country. I’ll likely have them help me make a set that looks a lot like the ones I’ve been putting in my pinterest boards for the past few years. Sadly, I didn’t get them up in this house… but I’m done hanging things here since we have our home on the market and are trying to sell it soon.
My favorite look for inside the house is more muted. If we get a separate building set up for our school room, I may go rainbow crazy and do something more fun, but I’m leaning more towards the DIY boards and rustic paint if it is inside the house someplace.
Here’s the one I’ve got on my wish list (or copy-cat list if I ever get around to making it):
All those little glances at the signs are reminders that prick the spirit when we are out of line. They are encouragement and pats on the back when we are not. There’s security in knowing where you stand and having a purpose and reason for what you do. Rules are lines to color in that help make a coherent picture in the end.
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A long time ago, when I was knee deep in crayons, Legos (who am I kidding, I’m still knee deep in Legos), and diapers (oh, yes, I had one that took more than three years to get that toilet thing down)…. I wrote out a list of rules for our family. Here’s what I wrote… (and you can imagine why it never made it on to a wall list):
TODDLER RULES
no running in the house
clean up your mess
use good manners
use inside voice inside
no splashing water out of the tub
no putting things in the nose, ears, or mouth
tell the truth
don’t hit, kick, bite, push, or hurt others
wait your turn
use kind words
try new things
say please and thank you
help others and do your part
be respectful to everyone of all ages – say yes sir, and no mam
hold doors open and pull out chairs
let others go first
ask for help
love other people because Jesus loves everyone
keep your promises
be gentle to your toys
don’t chase or hurt animals
ask permission to go outside or eat out of the pantry
ask permission to use electronics
say your prayers
always forgive
give night-night kisses
be positive and don’t complain
honor and obey your parents
be awesome
have fun
go to church
be silly
don’t put off what you can do today
snuggle
read every day
brush your teeth
be grateful
do your best work
don’t give up
work hard
encourage others
be quick to listen and slow to speak
be slow to anger
learn something new every day
dream big
play fair
laugh out loud
be yourself
be first to say you are sorry
sing and make music
smile
create
be present / pay attention to who is talking
eat healthy
exercise
drink lots of water
be a robot sometimes – beep beep!
build others UP
be the friend you want others to be to you
treat others how you want to be treated
create happy memories
get rid of things you don’t need
go to bed on time
always thank the cook
study your Bible daily
Those are some great rules, if I do say so myself. My kids like the robot one the best. It’s great to have a rules reminder and goals assessment day scheduled in to your homeschool lesson plans now and then. Discussing your family rules makes them crystal clear so there’s no “but I didn’t know that” excuses when they are broken.
If you have some rules links or ideas, I’d love to see them! Please share! Also, check out my elementary and preschool Pinterest homeschool boards for other ideas you can snag.
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Next up in the series will be Day 6, Books. What are some of your favorite preschool and Kindergarten books? Do you have a post with your family rules or preschool books that you would like to link in the comments so other homeschool moms can find it? You are welcome to leave your link here to share with us all!
Perfecting Preschool Series:
Day 1: Learning Spaces
Day 2: Activities
Day 3: Schedule
Day 4: Toys
Day 5: Rules
Day 6: Books
Day 7: Circle Time
Day 8: Arts & Crafts
Day 9: Music
Day 10: Electronics & Apps
Some other preschool posts you might enjoy (which are not part of this series):
Keeping Preschoolers Busy So You Can Homeschool
Favorite KONOS Memories from Kindergarten and Preschool Year
First Homeschool Year Field Trips (PK-K)
My Big Homeschool Field Trip List of Ideas
P.S. I’ll be giving away and reviewing some preschool-friendly items during this series or at the end of it!
{ Happy homeschoolin’, y’all! }
Great blog!!! thanks for sharing such wonderful blog. Its very informative and I would share this to all my friends who are planing to preschool their children.
Thank you for your kind comments and for sharing, Ashley. 🙂